i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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