Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
