when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I smell like Dick and happiness
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
