Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
