are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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