Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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