My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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