I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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