I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
