dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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