six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
