I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
