I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
