but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
