Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize