the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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