I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
