I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
