this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize