You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
