I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
