Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
