dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
