I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
