I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
