At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
