I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
