I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Randomize
