New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
