i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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