Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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