I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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