When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
