my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I think I sprained my soul last night
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
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