Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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