Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
