I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize