Whod you bang
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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