Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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