Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
