well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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