My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
