Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
