I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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