Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
