Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
