I'm drive I can fine osifer
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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