Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
