Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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