She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
