also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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