Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
