have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
