It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
