They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize