it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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