I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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