Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
