your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I smell like Dick and happiness
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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