never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize