Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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