So drunk its hurt
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize