Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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