question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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