I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize