And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I want to be your penis for a week.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
